Married women who physically seperated from your husband...what made you decide to come back?

My wife of two and a half years moved out 40 days ago. I have only heard from/seen her half a dozen times or so, but all of the face to face meetings have been at her request (meaining she has never directly agreed to see me because I asked although she knows I want to be with her. I feel stronlgy that she still holds some feelings for me, but we have both been stubborn and ugly to each other for the last few months. Mostly because of school/work and other outside pressures. I am not taking sole responsibility, but I have expressed understanding that I need to make changes in how I communicate (ie losing my temper, watching what I say in front of people, etc...NOT drinking, beating, or cheating). We had gone to a counselor only twice before she left (who I disliked strongly and felt attacked by, but of course, my wife loved her. My wife is a wonderful woman, but she can be very strong-willed and defiant. I know all I can do is back off and not har her, but I am falling apart, and she wont even respond to my once a week messages. I am not sure if this silence is her working through things and considering reconciliation, or just punsihment, or maybe just waiting me out to make me file for the divorce. Alot of people seem to think she must have someone else. I do not believe it. I never worried about her cheating (although I guess most idiots find that out the hard way. Any thoughts are appreciated. I know there is no silver bullet. I guess im just trying to find hope where there seems to be little to none. However since our first meeting when I asked her to just slow down and reconsider waht she is doing she has not directly spoken about divorce, and only mentioned having her cell and car put back into her name. Which I agreed to on the phone, but then next time she come over (two weeks ago now) she paid me for insurance and cell phone bills and did not mention regaining control of them. However, she has also not spoken to me since.